Helping a Child Grieve the Loss of a Pet with Memorial Gifts
Losing a family pet is one of the most tender and heartbreaking moments a child can face. Pets are often a child’s first companion, secret-keeper, and playmate, so their loss can feel incredibly personal and confusing. When that bond is broken, the emotions that follow may be unfamiliar or overwhelming for a young heart still learning how the world works. As a parent or caregiver, you might find yourself struggling to balance your own sadness while trying to guide your child through theirs. The instinct to shield them from hurt is strong, but grief, even in its smallest doses, is a vital part of emotional development. Helping your child face this moment with love, honesty, and sensitivity will serve them far beyond this experience.
The grieving process will look different depending on your child’s age and personality. Some children might cry for days, others may seem completely unaffected. No reaction is wrong. What matters most is that your child feels safe to express whatever they’re feeling. This blog explores age-appropriate ways to talk about death, the importance of memorials, and gentle reminders for how to support your child during this emotional time.
Best Practices for Telling a Child About a Pet’s Death
Once you know a pet has passed away, or that the end is near, the next challenge is figuring out how to talk with your child about it. This moment may feel heavy or even intimidating, but starting the conversation with honesty and compassion can help your child feel secure, even as they begin to experience grief.
How you share the news will depend on your child’s age, but above all, keep your explanation simple and honest. It may feel easier to soften the truth, but it is best to avoid telling a child that their pet “ran away” or “went on a trip.” While these explanations are often meant to protect a child’s feelings, they can lead to confusion, fear, or mistrust, especially if the truth comes out later. Being honest helps build trust and gives children a clearer understanding of loss.
If your pet is seriously ill, it might be tempting to downplay the situation to avoid upsetting your child. But as Dr. Dipesh Navsaria, Chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Early Childhood, explains, “It might be tempting to hide how serious the situation is… or to tell your child that everything is fine.” Instead, he encourages parents to talk with their child in an age-appropriate way and to let them enjoy the time they have left together. Sharing what is happening, answering questions, and allowing space for emotions can prevent the death from being a sudden, overwhelming shock.
For grade schoolers, especially when a pet is declining, it helps to prepare them gently and early. These children often benefit from more open conversations and may have thoughtful or specific questions. Teens may appear more independent in how they process grief, but they still need support. Reactions can vary from withdrawal to anger to deep sadness. Give them room to grieve in their own way, while also checking in regularly.
Books can be powerful tools in helping children understand and express their feelings. For toddlers, Something Very Sad Happened by Bonnie Zucker uses simple, clear language. Preschoolers often connect with Goodbye Mousie by Robie H. Harris or The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr. Grade schoolers may find comfort in The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst. For teens, The Grieving Teen by Helen Fitzgerald is a thoughtful resource that speaks directly to their experience. In addition to books, some children’s shows have created episodes that gently explain loss and grief in ways that are accessible and comforting to young viewers, making them another valuable resource for families navigating this difficult topic.
What to Remember After a Pet Dies
It’s natural to want to take the pain away from your child. But this is one of those moments where sitting with the sadness is part of the process. Children learn resilience not by avoiding grief, but by experiencing it with love and support by their side. Let your child cry. Let them be angry or confused. Let them talk, or not talk. Let their grief unfold in its own way.
This is also a time to teach healthy emotional outlets. Encourage them to draw pictures of their pet, write a goodbye letter, or talk about their favorite memories. Share your own feelings, too. Letting your child see your sadness tells them it’s okay to feel, and that grief is not something to hide or fix, but to carry with care.
Even small gestures can be meaningful. Maybe your child wants to keep the pet’s collar or favorite toy. Maybe they want to visit the spot where the pet is buried. These rituals, no matter how small, help build emotional language for a lifetime.
Why a Small Memorial or Ritual Matters
When a beloved pet passes away, creating a small memorial can be a powerful way to help children cope with grief. These quiet rituals, whether it’s lighting a candle, drawing a picture, or planting something meaningful, offer comfort, connection, and a healthy way to process loss.
One beautiful option is planting wildflowers in memory of a pet. At Forever Wildflowers, our Pet Sympathy Memorial Gift includes a mix of geographically selected wildflower seeds blended with sand, designed to cover 100 square feet with nearly 40,000 blooms. It’s a living tribute that children can help plant and care for, offering a gentle reminder that love continues to grow, even after loss.
This kind of memorial gives children a role in the grieving process and a lasting way to remember. As flowers bloom, they symbolize the beauty of the bond shared with a pet. The kit also includes a sympathy card for a personalized message, and an optional pet photo frame for an added touch.
Whether used in your own garden or given as a gift, planting wildflowers in memory of a pet creates a comforting space where grief, love, and healing can quietly coexist.
